The Curse of Apathy

If there is no passion, in anything at all, we loose the essence of being. I have great ideas, plans, opinions, and determinations, but alone I feel no sense of validity. So much of me feels entirely helpless and unsustainable for so many reasons. This depression has turned into a figurative reality for me despite how I tried to insulate myself. Rather, I found there was no insulation, just a denial of reality. I have a reality: passion. It might be the one consistency I have now, refering to my life back at school and not back in Europe, where I spent the past year studying and living; truely living. Last night I crashed into a tree and fell unconcious, albiet for only a few seconds, but all the same. This event would be foolish to interpret as any form of "sign", but I cant help but look at it as a profound marker and excuse to change. I want to be nothing but myself. That is to say I will act upon my thoughts and beliefs, with minimal or no regard for outer interference. Here's the best part: I'm in love. For the first time in my life, I can truely live in coexistence with another whom I liken to the greatest friend one could ever imagine, who will grab your hand at just the right moment and go running with you off into the unknown. It reeks of good taste. It is mine and ours. Its like looking out the window of a jet as it takes off. Its like the best night out with your friends. Its like looking in the mirror and smiling like you have been blind your whole life and now you can see. Like your favorite song playing at just the right time. It's me. I feel like Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglass at the end of "Romancing the Stone" as they ride off into eternity; with a great soundtrack. I have the best comparison! It might be like closing your eyes, with closed headphones, and listening to Jamiroquai on a shag rug.* That all being said, i'm so glad I didn't die flying over a cliff last night. It just would have been in bad taste. 

*Yes I am a HUGE dork. 

(Comming next week: Sade, how the hell do you do it?)