Senior-itis

My frustration with this semester isn't the classical example of what a senior in college might suggest. Rather than allowing the fact that my grades from last semester are still not transferred over from France, my heavy course schedule is almost entirely lower-division GE (and therefore useless), not having a car, job inconsistency, my questionable behavior, and a disconnect from my family, I've resorted by default to good old-fashioned procrastination and partying. This dreaded reality doesn't seem wrong or bothersome to me in the least. I couldn't be more fed up with the useless bureaucracy and lack of answers and action SJSU provides. Why I subject myself to this constant hell is proving more puzzling by the day, with no way to bow out gracefully. The life I have led these past few weeks, consisting of frequent inebriation and rendez-vous with my good friends, has done something to me. In the gaps of sobriety I've had, I realized that there must be balance restored to my college life: get out more. I've met some of the most amazing people in my entire life this semester, which proves to be a direct product of my total disinterest with school this semester. At the same time, I'm torn with such a reckless attitude and lifestyle; it's too damn cliche. It also isn't what I really want. Last year I spent in France proved to be the most academically challenging and intellectually rewarding experiences I could have hoped for. The distinction was clear when I began this final spring semester at SJSU. The reality is a sorry one: San Jose State University is a poor example to higher education, filled with apathy and completely devoid of good morale, with sub-par teaching (with several noted exceptions), and a very wide solidarity gap between student and teacher. I would never recommend this college. What should have been a critical first-step into adulthood, with enthusiasm and challenging academics, has rather been the mundane and careless methods of both faculty and institution. 

Long Overdue

In my defense, my computer crapped out on me this past month, so this might be what some call an ode to my frustrations. There now exists too many things simultaneously as pointless annoyances that I literally find myself cutting off some of the most important aspects of my life just to get away from it all. I thought about asking for help, but from who? My situation might as well be that of every other person, currently just trying to make it. 

A little bit about my critical observations with regards to what to do:

1. Never get involved with drugs. It is the vice of those who cannot manage their emotions. 

2. Always try and help people, even though these past weeks my reflection of humanity under reappraisal is a terrible and emotionally selfish being, seeking only its personal satisfaction on the backs and pain of others.

3. Enjoy life more. It is fast proving far too overcrowded with work, and work for what?

4. Begin saying goodbye.

In case you jumped a few blogs, or you don't know the plan, I'm moving to Europe. I fell I'm in a different place seeing a different me. I'm first off to establish my working visas and job possibilities. 

Here's the most exciting bit:

Post arrival, I move for my bold and classical crusade for Philosophy across the continent, ending in Vienna, where I've been invited to study under a wonderful professor from my study abroad last year. I'm going the other way, not the jump out of college and into the rat race. Life despite all of this still requires my forthright commitment to standardized higher education, in the form of a BA diploma, which means so little to me.